Memoir. Sehnsucht.
Indeed, in Him I am. And I knew that consciously at a very
young age. Remembering the desert sands of Egypt along the
Mediterranean coast surrounding Alexandria, fills me with
longing, still today.
The almost mystical beauty of the sea, its waves lapping on the
desert shores, its beaches extending like an unending ribbon fading,
then disappearing on the horizon. That is when I became aware of
His presence for the first time. I was a boy of 10 in a scout uniform
at the time, camping near a cluster of palms with my friends around me.
I remember contemplating the vast expanse of the sea embracing the
desert sands in the quiet of the early morning hours, before all the
others were awake. The notion of two eternities meeting in front of
me was born. But the concept of infinity and time matured much later
in life – time being the arid desert sands and eternity the almost unending
vastness of the sea. Much later still, the trilogy of consciousness
and sleep, life and death, time and timelessness intertwined in all humans
came to life. I thought then that what I saw in the unending distance
dimly, was a form, a presence. A face perhaps, I could not make out.
Later still, a visit to the catacombs of Kom el Shogafa came to mind.
Located just outside of Alexandria, they were discovered 100 years
ago, when a donkey fell through its entrance covered with mud and
debris. It is a Ptolemeian underground burial complex not unlike the
catacombs of Rome, where among the multiculturalism of many
graves, very early Christian symbols are inscribed, among them,
the fish. A symbol that has intrigued me for many years. The explanation
the 12 disciples of Christ were for the most part fishermen and thus the
fish was chosen as la secret symbol of the Christians, never satisfied me.
For the fish, as we Christians ought to, lives in another dimension,
transcending time and surviving in that dimension quite naturally. Indeed,
the early Christians were on to something which was lost in the vanity
of time emanating out of the episteme of human wisdom, the other side
of God YHWH`s human creation: the mind of man, in which the aberration
of time was conceived and in which we are bound to live.
Now the question is, which reality trumps the other in life sustaining
endurance, in its capacity of survival? The eons of years (when counted
in the delusion of our time) give proof positive to the sustainability
of marine life in the oceans and streams when compared to ours in “time”.
Indeed, our reality is so falsified, so empty of eternal logic, that it is
doomed to collapse from its own weight, because of its feet of clay,
its human feet that crack and crumble with the vanity of its wisdom,
falling to the ground eternal, in a smithereen of pieces. And indeed,
humanity will vanish in the sands of eternal nothingness, if not reborn
in a dimension that lives within it still!
Humans are replacing their need, their longing for that eternal reality
and the episteme out of which it was created,, with a virtual reality of their
own fabrication, a fatal lie conceived in Jesuit dreams.
Indeed, the world cannot be rebuilt, it must be conceived anew by the
Eternal Genome of the Trinitarian God YHWH, of our Savior Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God conceived by Him, the Godhead. This is what is
separating all believing Christian from the notion of reality and truth of
all other religions since the Renaissance and our modern, scientific times.
Paul Trog
Innsbruck,
this 29th of March 2016